"ABOUT ME"

(Taken from old blog site---October 5, 2005)

Be afraid..be very afraid! I totally suck in love. i dont know if that's something i should even dwell on...am not really proud of my "loving" ways esp. after recently being caught up in this web of emotions at the expense of the people I love. I allowed my fears to overcome my desire to experience loving freely and unconditionally. In my attempt to prevent people from getting hurt, i made stupid decisions that led me to lose them just the same. I guess the love i gave is not worthy yet of redemption...i've deprived myself of the chance to appreciate LOVE as it came into my life, that i need to retrace my steps and rediscover the simple joys that only a real and honest love can give...

I'd rather be alone for awhile..long enough to give myself time to recover and finally get over..accept things as they are and look forward to a better life ahead and move on.I already took the first step,confronted my demons and faced reality head on..it was tough,I never realized i had a lot of issues to deal with,i've been in hiding a little too long to figure out the difference, and when i finally did, it scared the hell out of me that i resorted to going back to my shell, refusing to give in to the call of real love.The one person who was more than willing to take me in his arms has suffered.We kept it real..and that was the hardest thing.He took it all.I have more than enough hurt to endure and inflict on people...esp to the ones i care for the most.But i loved..and for me that's what really matters.Too bad it was too late before i finally came around.Yes, i guess im better off alone,i don't think i'm ready yet to get caught in the trap again. will just do what i do best..work!!!